Negotiation Avoidance: The Real Cost

What we may give up when we choose not to ask

Some people seem to enjoy negotiating. They approach it as a challenge, an opportunity to reach a better agreement, or even a bit of a game. For others, the very thought of negotiating creates discomfort.

An October 4 article in the Chicago Tribune, “How to Be a Better Negotiator,” by Jeff Banowetz, explored why people shy away from negotiation, even when doing so may be in their best interest. The article cited a 2025 study from Indiana University’s Kelley School of Business that found nearly half of participants were willing to pay more to avoid negotiating.

Think about that. People were willing to accept a financial disadvantage simply to avoid an uncomfortable conversation.

And while the Tribune article focused on negotiating a job offer, negotiation avoidance has implications that extend well beyond starting salary.

Why Is Asking So Difficult?

Negotiating requires us to express what we want without knowing how the other person will respond. For many people, that uncertainty is uncomfortable.

We may worry about appearing demanding, damaging a relationship, or creating tension. There’s also the possibility of rejection. Hearing “no” can feel personal, even when the decision has little to do with us.

So we convince ourselves that the issue isn’t worth pursuing. We accept the terms, agree to the deadline, or take on additional responsibilities without discussing what might make the arrangement more attractive.

The immediate discomfort disappears, but our needs haven’t necessarily been addressed.

The Cost Isn’t Always Financial

Avoiding negotiation can affect far more than compensation or contract terms. It can influence workloads, expectations, professional opportunities, and the quality of our working relationships.

Consider a manager who agrees to an ambitious deadline without discussing the resources needed to meet it. The decision may preserve goodwill in the moment, but it could leave the team struggling to deliver on a commitment that was never fully examined.

Negotiation also provides an opportunity to understand what each party values and where there may be flexibility. Without that exchange, potentially beneficial alternatives can go unexplored.

An employer may be willing to offer flexibility. A customer may prefer a different payment schedule. A colleague may suggest an approach that hadn’t occurred to anyone else.

We’ll never know what’s possible if we don’t have the conversation.

Negotiation Is Not Necessarily a Disagreement

Negotiation is sometimes mistaken for conflict, when in fact it can be a collaborative process that benefits everyone involved.

It can begin with a question, an exchange of information, or a discussion about priorities that haven’t yet been fully understood.

A company and a prospective employee may agree that the position is an excellent fit while having different expectations about compensation or flexibility. Discussing those expectations doesn’t mean their interests are opposed. It gives them an opportunity to find common ground.

The same principle applies to business relationships, project planning, and everyday workplace decisions.

Successful negotiation isn’t necessarily about persuading someone to accept your position. Often, it’s about understanding what the priorities are and discovering where there’s room to make an arrangement better for both parties.

Are We Making the Decision for Someone Else?

Perhaps one of the most interesting aspects of negotiation avoidance is how readily we anticipate another person’s response.

We assume an employer won’t consider an alternative arrangement or that a customer won’t entertain different terms. Without ever asking, we’ve already decided what’s possible.

Of course, not every situation warrants negotiation. There are legitimate constraints, and there are times when accepting the terms offered is the right decision.

But that’s a choice best made with an understanding of the options, rather than an assumption about what someone else might say.

The real cost of negotiation avoidance may be the opportunities we missed because we never started the conversation.